After five and a half years of trying for a baby, 4 and half years under a fertility specialist, 6 metformin cycles, 9 clomiphene cycles, 8 IVF transfers, 2 miscarriages, acupuncture, herbal medicine, endometrial scratches, hsg, hysteroscope, melatonin, aspirin, donated eggs, $70 000, hundreds of blood tests, buckets of tears, moments of depression and despair, it gives me great pleasure to be able to finally say we saw and heard our little baby’s heart beating at today’s scan! Words can’t begin to explain the absolute joy we are feeling right now. I think both my husband and I are still in shock as we are finally allowing ourselves to get excited about something we were wondering would ever happen to us.
This morning I was worried some of my pregnancy symptoms weren’t as strong i.e. boobs not as sore and tummy not as bloated. Mentally I was trying to prepare myself for both outcomes. I knew my husband was nervous too, although he did get some comfort in discovering I had demolished half a packet of crisps last night, something I wouldn’t normally do😊. After a quick chat with the specialist about how we’ve been feeling I prepared myself for the scan. For a brief moment I thought there was no heartbeat but thankfully the specialist said it all looks good before repositioning and showing us what we’ve been waiting for, a tiny flicker of a heart beating. I’m not sure if my heart racing was making baby’s heart beat faster but it was there, strong and fast and baby measuring perfectly at 7 weeks and 4 days. My husband teared up a little which I never see, so was such a special moment for us.
After four and a half years with the clinic it’s hard to believe we no longer need to count and plan day one cycles. I’m feeling a little sad to be discharged from the care of our specialist. He’s been an absolute Saint to us during treatment and I know he’s really gone out of his way to guide us through some pretty challenging times. He has some antenatal classes at the hospital on Fridays which he’s invited me to, so hopefully I’ll catch up with him there.
It’s also been wonderful to finally be able to tell some family and a few close friends. We told my brother in the weekend while he was visiting from Australia, he asked if it was a natural conception which made me laugh as it’s probably one of the most unnatural conceptions!.
So I’m off to dig up all those pregnancy books I’ve had hidden for the last few years and I don’t think I’m too far away from investing in some pregnancy jeans. It’s been one hell of a ride to get here but right now we couldn’t be happier. What doesn’t break us, only makes us stronger! We are so ready to embrace this next chapter in our lives.